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The Truth Behind The “Nice Guy Syndrome”

Melinda Venessa

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The word ‘Nice guy syndrome’ is a sexist term used to describe a man who believes that he is entitled to a woman because he is ‘nice’. Men with this syndrome tend to put other men down for not being ‘nice’, and put down women for choosing these other men over them. This ‘nice’ guy describes himself as one of ‘the good guys’, and blames women for having rational trust issues, implying that these women have wronged him for not dating him. This is a character that openly shows he is actually not good.

Relax and let go of everday cares.

These type of men view themselves as prototypical ‘nice guys’, but their ‘nice deeds’ are in reality only motivated by attempts to passively please women into a relationship or intimacy. This character type typically manifests in men due to societal roles that say women belong to them. But how do you know when you’ve encountered a ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’ or when you’ve met a genuinely sweet shy dude who has some little trouble in his love life?

A ‘nice’ guy doesn’t sympathize with a woman’s trust issues. When women don’t trust men, it’s often because they’ve been harassed, or abused, or mistreated by men. These experiences make them wary and even though you are not responsible for these experiences, you should try to understand that women are just being rational by basing their decisions on these mistrust issues.

A ‘nice’ guy goes on and on touting his own kindness. It’s a pretty good thing to be kind and show kindness, but when somebody goes on and on about how nice they are, they leave you wondering why they want everyone to know that. That’s a good example of toxic masculinity. Being nice should be for your own sake and good. Not so that women will date you or sleep with you as a result.

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A ‘nice’ guy does not accept rejection and makes it a moral issue. It’s true rejection hurts and being rejected is very normal for people of all genders. It’s even healthier and normal to complain about your rejections to your friends. What’s not healthy is feeling sorry and behaving as if you’ve wronged someone when you turn down a date or intimacy. Whether you want to date someone or not is beyond your control and is not a moral issue.

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